Sixth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Six weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. I will admit I dropped the ball this week. Being busy at work for the first time in a while made me less inclined to use my pedal machine and then I just wanted to relax when I got home so there went riding the bike. I will do better on this this week.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I did really good on this this week and don’t feel as tired as I usually do towards the end. I was a bit sore from fencing so I took the last day off to rest.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Still going strong! I might be a little bit late next week on account of our vacation but rest assured when I am back I will make up for it! Besides, although the saying says everything must stay there I do feel that Vegas will make for an excellent muse for my next posts.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I heard back negatively from one of the jobs I applied for and that was disappointing but at least I heard back. Time will tell if I hear back on anything from the other job; regardless I am glad I took this first foray back into the job market. And in a couple of weeks I should learn more about Congress from my dad’s colleague. I plan on reaching out to some of my own Hill colleagues this week to see if I can meet with them and learn about their experiences.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I felt less guilty about saying no to a lunch/dinner this weekend so I could focus on what plans I already had for myself and not stress too much since I still feel slightly under the weather. I also felt less guilty about firmly asking that a meeting that I have coming up not be moved since I don’t want to miss too much work each week.
6. Use social media more effectively. I was reminded on the need to have good social media branding on event materials this week as my colleagues who were putting on the program had their handles in the program flyer. I am really looking forward to putting ours more on display during our next event by using the screens in the room better.
7. Drink more water. I was consistent at meeting my goal about 2/3 each day While it is not the 6 cups at least it was consistent and I felt hydrated which is most important. Plus, I wasn’t going to the bathroom every hour which was much less annoying.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I caught up with a great friend from high school over lunch on Saturday which was wonderful; she even had suggestions about what we should do in Vegas! While some might see texting over phone calls as a cheap way out, since I often feel discouraged if people don’t answer my calls I know that the text, even if they can’t answer right away, shows that I am thinking about them and am staying in touch in a way that is more flexible.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. In another post I just wrote on here about being more open I realized that even if I don’t show it outwardly I am more close minded and judgmental than I would care to admit so I need to be better at being more open even when peoples’ delivery of their opinions rubs me the wrong way.Their delivery is their problem. My goal should be to listen to the substance and seek to connect rather than chafe at their attitude which can be influenced by any number of factors.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I was able to plow through one of my books thanks to having some quiet time on Friday and Saturday. I can’t always count on this but it is great to be able to take advantage of it this time. Plus, the lesson I am working on in my app is words I already know so it is nice to breeze through the review without many mistakes!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I have started thinking about my packing list for our vacation and that will definitely include sexy toys and lube. Since these are things that make me comfortable I feel like they will help get me in the mood even in a hotel room.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I was able to sneak a peek at our budget sheet this week and we have saved around $1,200! Plenty of money to treat ourselves to some fun experiences during our vacation and hopefully still have a little bit saved by the time we come back.

If Love Is an Open Door, I Need a Doorstop

One of the tasks assigned in my accountability group a week or so ago was to choose a value and see how you currently interpret it and how you can be better at achieving it. I am not one that actively pursues values in so explicit a manner so after googling “values” I alighted upon “openness” as one that sounded good.

I have long considered myself an open person. I generally see the best in people and their motivations and am more than willing to learn about things that I am not as well versed on or familiar with. Since last year I have been trying to be even more so with the books I read and the conversations I have with others about topics that confront my ignorance and my privilege like race, gender identity, and (though to a lesser degree) politics. I see this process as a life long pursuit and, quite frankly, that is how it should be since I will never be omnipotent nor should I give off the attitude that I am.

Since partaking in this exercise I have definitely caught myself at times not being open to opinions that are contradictory to my own. There are issues that range from trivial like sports to more difficult like race that I see instances where I need to be more open to other opinions. A good deal of this stems from long held feelings of people not really listening to me so I feel that if I accept something that goes, even in some small way, against my current opinion that only serves to prove that my opinion is still not valid so I can be dismissive. But rather than making me feel better this only reinforces the stereotype that I am a know-it-all and that I should work to fix this behavior in myself so I can contribute to a better dialogue. So what if people are bad in their delivery? That can still annoy me but it shouldn’t diminish what they have to say. Lord only knows that I need all the help I can get when I am trying to make myself understood.

So though it is difficult and can be uncomfortable I choose openness. After all, openness is the only way that the problems can be examined from all sides out in the open so we can see what can truly be done about it.

This Week in Gratitude: Underdogs, Public Diplomacy, and CSI Marathons

1. My husband and I watched the Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots with my parents. Though both from New England, my mom was rooting for the underdog Eagles and my dad was staunchly for the Patriots. Weifang was rooting for whomever played the better game. I was also for the Eagles in light of being tired of the same teams always making and eventually winning the Super Bowl. Plus, as my dad put it, I wanted to use this game as a metaphor for the current state of politics where the little guy is often overwhelmed by the better equipped (largely because of money spent on resources) establishment; in this case an establishment that has also seen its share of controversy in recent years. So imagine my happiness that the Eagles did their mascot justice and played an almost perfect game to victory. If they could do it, I thought, we can do this year in the midterms and other facets of making sure the establishment doesn’t always win. However, I would ask that during our victories we don’t harm our cities as that is never a good look. The other side should never be able to find a fault with our anger or our celebration since both emotions are valid and need to be taken seriously.
2. For the first time in a while I was able to attend an event that I myself was not hosting. Although I helped my colleagues who did put it on by helping them get a room on the Hill and connecting them with speakers including my director it was nice to just sit back and listen to what was being said (albeit with occasional social media posting as that job never ends). While these speakers were largely preaching to the choir, it was nonetheless wonderful to hear about all of their activities for promoting global citizenship and studying abroad. I can only hope that very soon I will be sitting up with them on the dais and speaking about what I am doing to make a difference rather than just listening.
3. I took a much needed sick day on Friday to just relax and stay at home until my fencing class. While taking a break from studying and eating my lunch I was flipping channels and came across a marathon of CSI episodes. While it was partly because I will be going to Las Vegas with Weifang soon another part of me was excited to just sit back and watch a show for nostalgia’s sake. Sometimes that is truly what the doctor ordered.

Fifth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Five weeks down! And now that January is over I have made it through my first month!  Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. I had to do some catch up this week but got back on track. And now I have even more of a desire to keep up with this since it will help me with my fencing training.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I had to do some catch up this week but got back on track. And now I have even more of a desire to keep up with this since it will help me with my fencing training.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Though I don’t use it to write actual posts, it is nice having WordPress’ app on my phone so I can write down title ideas for posts throughout the week. Then I already have a jumping off point for when I actually sit down to write.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. My dad is putting me in touch with one of his colleagues who has a lot of experience with Congress so it will be very interesting to hopefully sit down with him and see how I can become more involved. If anything I can make sure that I am a better and more informed voter by the time the midterm elections roll around!
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I am go glad that I finally said yes to myself and overcame my hesitancy to take advantage of the fencing class that Weifang bought me for Christmas. Though I was the oldest at my first class and have a lot to learn I am so excited to take part in a sport that I have long admired.
6. Use social media more effectively. I have really enjoyed using SnapChat more recently to keep better in touch with friends who use this social media more often than other means of keeping in touch. I will never use it enough to make long stories but being able to send Moe temporary funny pictures to folks has been great.
7. Drink more water. I fell off the wagon a bit with this this week since I did not adequately plan for having time to drink water when I was busy or distracted during the week. I hope to be better at this in the coming week since it is this behavior that has led me to not drink enough water in the first place.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I checked in on a couple of friends over the phone this week to see how they were doing after tough weeks. It felt good to be able to catch up with them and make sure they were doing all right. I am planning on catching up with another dear friend over lunch during National Harbor’s restaurant week on Saturday which is sure to be a good time.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. Some of the courses that I was listening to on Lynda.com involved being a better listener and how to deal with difficult situations. It is hard learning things about yourself that you realize you could have done better or recognizing behavior that you don’t like in others in yourself. But at least by recognizing it now I can work to make my behavior reflect how I truly am and what I aspire to be. And it will help me have more empathy when dealing with others which is extremely important.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I didn’t study as much of this as I would have liked this week. But I am able to recognize more words when my husband speaks to me and able to use more words in conversation so I am on the right path!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. Now that we are in the month of Valentine’s Day I need to figure out my plan. It sounds so unsexy but since we are both busy people and I should be the one to take the initiative since this is all largely on me I will do my best to find a day where we can just enjoy each other.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. Even with paying for our vacation we saved around $200! Every little bit is a great achievement and I cannot wait to keep working towards our goal of saving around $800-1,000 when we do not have any big trips planned.

Better Walk the Walk

This past week was President Trump’s first State of the Union address and I suppose if you want to give him credit for staying on script and sounding presidential the low bar was met. A big deal was made about his comments of coming across the aisle and having both parties in Congress work together to “make America great again.” This language is nothing new. It is a sound bite administrations on both sides pay lip service to during speeches with varying degrees of success. Given the President’s treatment of members on both sides, that has set it up to be some words that were written for him to say and nothing more.

But this is not to say that Congress is off the hook. Over just my lifetime Congress has gotten so partisan and so petty that little to anything of substance gets done. Bills that millions of people depend on, from CHIP to DACA, are held hostage so party elders can hold onto their seats of power while we, the people who elected them based on their claims that they would represent us, are left to increasing cynicism and despair. So forgive me if I listen to Joe Kennedy III’s rebuttal speech and think yeah it was eloquent and struck the right tone but I can’t put hope in it. Presidents only last for a most two terms. We are often stuck with members of Congress for their whole lives and if the past couple of decades are any judge we should be more concerned about their lip service since it will be ultimately the most damaging.

Now I am one to talk when I speak of getting past talking the talk to walking the walk. I have certainly said things that I didn’t really mean or said things and not acted upon them since it would have been hard or not, if I may borrow a phrase, politically expedient. But I am tired of this behavior in myself and I am certainly tired of it in my elected officials who continue to be a source of embarrassment and, frankly, stress as I worry about what type of world I will raise my future children in. So for all our sakes I am going to do my best to walk my own walk and see if I can go about getting our politicians to understand that sometimes you have to make hard choices to live up to your promises. And although we might not thank you right away ultimately it will be more worthy of our respect.

 

This Week in Gratitude: Lynda.com, Rug Doctor, and Listening to the Rain

1. I recently discovered that my county’s library system offers a free subscription to Lynda.com, a site that has numerous video courses on all manner of business and growth related subjects (it is affiliated with LinkedIn). So when I have down time at work I have been filling it with Lynda courses so I can continue to improve my skill set and make good use of the time. So far I have learned everything from how to use Instagram for business to public speaking to how to be more assertive. I am looking forward to learning more about utilizing the new Microsoft Office effectively, especially Excel.
2. I asked for our own Rug Doctor for Christmas and boy has it delivered. Portable with a built in handheld vacuum it is perfect for cleaning our high traffic stairs and they look SO much better now. Though it has made me want to shave the cat and our bodies since there was so much hair on the stairs it was insane. I am looking forward to being able to take care of spills quicker and keep our home clean without having to rent a unit.
3. As I was still down to write this blog post while cuddling in bed with my husband he mentioned that it was so nice to be sitting together in a warm room listening to the rain outside. And I have to say that he is right. Nothing makes me feel more cozy than sitting with him listening to the calming sound of rain outside.

The Danger of the Three Monkeys

 

Everyone has seen monkeys like the one above: See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. And for the most part this seems like a good set of rules to live by. After all, no one wants to be caught up in the mob mentality of harmful behavior. But what if in some sense these monkeys could also be the symbol of the other mob mentality? That of complacency and turning a blind eye to harmful behavior that needs to be checked? After all, sometimes “evil” could be defined as going against the norm and seeking to promote change that others don’t want or are too ashamed to admit to themselves has been long overdue. I am certain the current political climate is influencing my observation of what has been for most of my life a cutesy symbol. But I am okay with that since if I see evil or hear evil I want to confront it and, above all, I want to prevent myself and others from speaking evil.

Fourth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Four weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Used my pedal machine more than my actual bike this week but it was a good way to make productive use of my time sitting at my desk and be able to stay on top of exercising when I knew that I would have a long night on Wednesday.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I had to do some make up in this category on Friday as after my long night at work on Wednesday and recovery on Thursday I skipped out on doing the exercises once each day. But I caught up and can still feel progress being made!
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. It is really nice to be back into a groove with this. Now I catch myself thinking about things that I have read or seen or experienced as good topics for posts and use the week to edit my thoughts before I put them to paper.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. Haven’t heard anything back just yet on the applications I turned in but I will keep the faith! In the meantime I will keep looking around to see what else is out there. After doing some research on the midterm races this year for Congress and local government I am more convinced that volunteering in some form on a campaign would be a great learning experience as well.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I have a packed weekend this weekend with the dinner I mentioned last week, a baby shower, and a movie night. It feels good to have all of these opportunities to talk to folks and that Weifang will also have time to play pool since I will be out most of the day on Sunday. Plus, got my ticket for the comic convention in March so that is all set as well!
6. Use social media more effectively. I’ve been going through all of the saved links on my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest to print out or save things that I will actually do or use rather than just always leaving things up. This way I have new recipes to try, new craft projects to make, and lots of fun ideas for when I have children.
7. Drink more water. I am on my fourth plant! But I fell behind on Wednesday on account of staying late at work and sitting in a place with no bathroom (this goal has been a killer on my bladder!). But on the whole I have gotten better at responding right away when my app reminds me that it is time to drink.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I was able to help my friend Paige vent this week when she called me over the phone so I was happy to serve as her sounding board. It was National Compliment Day this week so I let all of my friends know how much they mean to me and got lots of wonderful compliments in return. I am doing better with sending birthday cards this year so far and am happy to provide that small token on my affection. And as I mentioned above I will be seeing a lot of friends this weekend for various activities.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. As I mentioned in my gratitude post today I was happy that I ended a. subscription that ultimately was causing me more harm than good (guilt over not utilizing it properly, the money I felt I was wasting because of that, etc.). But I am very disappointed by how the person running it tried to make me feel guilty and small when the whole point of the field he is in is to help people feel good about themselves and live their best life. Thanks but no thanks dude I am glad I found this out now before I wasted more of my time. I also want to both commend myself for staying patient and vent about why I had to stay late at work this week. We were having our carpet professionally cleaned and I was more than happy to stay late to lend a hand since out elevators lock at a certain time and to make sure they had everything they needed. So that wasn’t the problem. But then, as is always the case, issues arose. The gentleman who showed up was late, he went up the staircase that he wasn’t supposed to which added time to his set up, pretended like we hadn’t told him which staircase to go up, complained hat he had only learned about the job that morning and therefore wasn’t prepared, and surprise, surprise, after two hours of hemming and hawing when he actually got down to business it only took about an hour and a half. Maybe he had been not properly informed by his boss. I don’t care. If it was me I would do my best and help the customer because it would not be his or her fault. Just be the bigger person. Needless to say that for once in my life when they sent the customer survey I actually filled it out and outlined my concerns. Hopefully if there is a next job they will do better. In the end, at least the carpets looked good so something good came out of it.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Weifang told me that my Chinese has gotten a lot better since I started studying since by doing it on multiple platforms vocab words are sticking in my head better.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. Every day I look at my husband I know he is the one. The more we discuss our future and children the more I am so excited that he will always be mine. This is the mindset that I have been truly looking for to overwhelm the doubts outside forces send to me.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. We are going on vacation in a few weeks! Even with this expense by eating out less and keeping to our budget but getting rid of subscriptions and not buying too much we are on track to save over $1,000 this month. We are doing awesome!

This Week in Gratitude: Vacation Anticipation, Saying Yes, and Saying No

1. Weifang and I have booked tickets and a hotel room for our MUCH overdue vacation in Las Vegas in a few weeks! We haven’t been on a long vacation that didn’t involve seeing friends or family (and those are both great but they aren’t really vacations) since we got married. Plus, the more research we do the more really fun things appear in a city that most people just write off as full of casinos and neon. Needless to say we are very excited!
2. I have a packed weekend this week: Today is dinner with a good friend and her roommates, tomorrow I have a baby shower in the morning and a movie day with two friends in the afternoon. Weifang will be playing pool with one of his friends as well. The baby shower I was obviously going to go to but the other plans came up over the past week and usually I am not sure if I want to go or if Weifang wants to go or if he would mind (he never does but yay anxiety!) so I waffle and I hate it even though my friends are used to making plans last minute anyway. So it felt good to say “Yes!” and the following weekend I can just relax with my husband 🙂
3. I got rid of a subscription to a class that I thought at the time might be worth starting but later realized I don’t have the ideas that would make it worthwhile or really the time to focus on it when I have other goals I would rather pursue (plus I could always find a different class anyway). Also, it would allow me to use the money I was spending on the subscription to use for vacations or other things I want to do with Weifang. So I was glad that I finally said no thanks and got rid of it. The only downer was that the person who was in charge of the class tried to guilt trip me into taking this off of my plate by saying we had an “agreement” (which we don’t as that’s not how class subscriptions work). So I am also glad I got rid of it since if he can’t respect my choices when I decide that something isn’t right for me right now that is not someone I want to work with anyway.

Third Week in Review: New Year’s Resolutions

Three weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Still riding along! I did more of a balance between my exercise bike and my pedal machine this week so that hopefully has helped different muscles get some love.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I took my husband’s advice about doing three reps of ten rather than all thirty at once and it goes much smoother! I didn’t exhaust myself as much with lifting the weights over my head so onward and upward.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. This week was a good one for remembering gratitude and venting, two things that I enjoy using writing for since it helps me stay focused on the positive and get out the negative without complaining too much.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I turned in two applications this week!! My dad helped me proofread my cover letters and reformat my resume so we shall see what happens. It was really nice to look at all that I have accomplished so here’s to the next step!
5. Say Yes and No quicker. A friend invited my husband and I to dinner and me to a comic convention and I was able to get back to her right away rather than just sitting on it. Felt good and my anxiety was for naught since my husband was up for the dinner! I don’t want to make it seem like he isn’t he usually is and I respect him knowing his own mind when he says no. I am still trying to get out of that mindset that we need to always accept couple invitations; sometimes only one of us wants to go and that is okay!
6. Use social media more effectively. Whelp I didn’t end up deleting my Twitter. I might just let it lie for now since it isn’t doing any harm by just sitting there. It was good to reflect last week on how it bums me out when my posts don’t get hits so now I know to leave it alone unless that is a good medium rather than just posting on it willy nilly.
7. Drink more water. I am still working on my third plant. I did okay this week but I feel like I need to be more aggressive in pursuing this goal. One way I could do this is by immediately drinking when the two hour reminder hits. I haven’t been using this as a format to get all six cups in so I will try this out this week and see how it goes.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I had a great phone call with Joe and Laura on Monday and called my friend Carolyn on her birthday on Friday which gave her a pleasant surprise. This was in person but I caught up with my friend Sara over yoga (with kittens!) and tea on Saturday as well.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had some more time to reflect on behaviors that bother me this week. I don’t like it when people automatically se the negative in things. I do this from time to time (science tells us that we don’t like behaviors in others that we see in ourselves) so my hands are not clean. But I have been noticing it more recently in friends and I just wish that they could enjoy the moment more rather than seeking to find faults. Yes it would be nice if there were more options available during an activity we did or that it was less expensive or numerous other things. But enjoy it for what it is and next time we can take those factors into account. If anything it makes me feel bad that I suggested something in the first place if most of what you say is a complaint. Additionally, I read an article that has had a similar theme for the past year and a half, namely folks in the government quitting because they don’t agree with Trump’s policies. This article was about a commission that works for the National Park Service. On the one hand, I appreciate them standing up for their principles and making a public statement and display about it. But on the other hand, I don’t want them to leave when the going gets tough. I want them to fight from the inside and protect those interests that they believe are under threat. Because that is what I hope to do one day. Make no mistake I do not want to leave my job simply because I want more money or that I disagree with the mission. I agree with the mission, just not enough in my opinion is being done to carry that mission forward. So I say to these people this: I respect you and I know just how frustrating that can be, but we need you now more than ever.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I fell a little bit behind on this this week but have been continuing to learn new words (I filled up a whole notebook!). I know that I am making progress and am on the right path because now it is easier for me to not only memorize words but recognize words’ meanings since I can recognize the individual characters that make up words. This is super exciting!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I am shirking on this goal and I feel bad. But I have been doing some inward exploring as to what my hang-ups are and that has been quite enlightening. This goal in particular is where outward expectations are interfering with my inward peace and, ultimately, happiness so armed with this knowledge I can proceed from here.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I felt a bit guilty this week for buying some expensive make up but at least you get what you pay for because this stuff is fantastic. My husband told me that we didn’t have to live like we are poor so that prompted a nice discussion about furthering out budget goals. And we have bought tickets for a vacation in February! So there is a good goal for saving money so we can live it up!