One of the tasks assigned in my accountability group a week or so ago was to choose a value and see how you currently interpret it and how you can be better at achieving it. I am not one that actively pursues values in so explicit a manner so after googling “values” I alighted upon “openness” as one that sounded good.
I have long considered myself an open person. I generally see the best in people and their motivations and am more than willing to learn about things that I am not as well versed on or familiar with. Since last year I have been trying to be even more so with the books I read and the conversations I have with others about topics that confront my ignorance and my privilege like race, gender identity, and (though to a lesser degree) politics. I see this process as a life long pursuit and, quite frankly, that is how it should be since I will never be omnipotent nor should I give off the attitude that I am.
Since partaking in this exercise I have definitely caught myself at times not being open to opinions that are contradictory to my own. There are issues that range from trivial like sports to more difficult like race that I see instances where I need to be more open to other opinions. A good deal of this stems from long held feelings of people not really listening to me so I feel that if I accept something that goes, even in some small way, against my current opinion that only serves to prove that my opinion is still not valid so I can be dismissive. But rather than making me feel better this only reinforces the stereotype that I am a know-it-all and that I should work to fix this behavior in myself so I can contribute to a better dialogue. So what if people are bad in their delivery? That can still annoy me but it shouldn’t diminish what they have to say. Lord only knows that I need all the help I can get when I am trying to make myself understood.
So though it is difficult and can be uncomfortable I choose openness. After all, openness is the only way that the problems can be examined from all sides out in the open so we can see what can truly be done about it.
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