Sixth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Six weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. I will admit I dropped the ball this week. Being busy at work for the first time in a while made me less inclined to use my pedal machine and then I just wanted to relax when I got home so there went riding the bike. I will do better on this this week.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I did really good on this this week and don’t feel as tired as I usually do towards the end. I was a bit sore from fencing so I took the last day off to rest.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Still going strong! I might be a little bit late next week on account of our vacation but rest assured when I am back I will make up for it! Besides, although the saying says everything must stay there I do feel that Vegas will make for an excellent muse for my next posts.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I heard back negatively from one of the jobs I applied for and that was disappointing but at least I heard back. Time will tell if I hear back on anything from the other job; regardless I am glad I took this first foray back into the job market. And in a couple of weeks I should learn more about Congress from my dad’s colleague. I plan on reaching out to some of my own Hill colleagues this week to see if I can meet with them and learn about their experiences.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I felt less guilty about saying no to a lunch/dinner this weekend so I could focus on what plans I already had for myself and not stress too much since I still feel slightly under the weather. I also felt less guilty about firmly asking that a meeting that I have coming up not be moved since I don’t want to miss too much work each week.
6. Use social media more effectively. I was reminded on the need to have good social media branding on event materials this week as my colleagues who were putting on the program had their handles in the program flyer. I am really looking forward to putting ours more on display during our next event by using the screens in the room better.
7. Drink more water. I was consistent at meeting my goal about 2/3 each day While it is not the 6 cups at least it was consistent and I felt hydrated which is most important. Plus, I wasn’t going to the bathroom every hour which was much less annoying.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I caught up with a great friend from high school over lunch on Saturday which was wonderful; she even had suggestions about what we should do in Vegas! While some might see texting over phone calls as a cheap way out, since I often feel discouraged if people don’t answer my calls I know that the text, even if they can’t answer right away, shows that I am thinking about them and am staying in touch in a way that is more flexible.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. In another post I just wrote on here about being more open I realized that even if I don’t show it outwardly I am more close minded and judgmental than I would care to admit so I need to be better at being more open even when peoples’ delivery of their opinions rubs me the wrong way.Their delivery is their problem. My goal should be to listen to the substance and seek to connect rather than chafe at their attitude which can be influenced by any number of factors.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I was able to plow through one of my books thanks to having some quiet time on Friday and Saturday. I can’t always count on this but it is great to be able to take advantage of it this time. Plus, the lesson I am working on in my app is words I already know so it is nice to breeze through the review without many mistakes!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I have started thinking about my packing list for our vacation and that will definitely include sexy toys and lube. Since these are things that make me comfortable I feel like they will help get me in the mood even in a hotel room.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I was able to sneak a peek at our budget sheet this week and we have saved around $1,200! Plenty of money to treat ourselves to some fun experiences during our vacation and hopefully still have a little bit saved by the time we come back.

Third Week in Review: New Year’s Resolutions

Three weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Still riding along! I did more of a balance between my exercise bike and my pedal machine this week so that hopefully has helped different muscles get some love.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I took my husband’s advice about doing three reps of ten rather than all thirty at once and it goes much smoother! I didn’t exhaust myself as much with lifting the weights over my head so onward and upward.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. This week was a good one for remembering gratitude and venting, two things that I enjoy using writing for since it helps me stay focused on the positive and get out the negative without complaining too much.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I turned in two applications this week!! My dad helped me proofread my cover letters and reformat my resume so we shall see what happens. It was really nice to look at all that I have accomplished so here’s to the next step!
5. Say Yes and No quicker. A friend invited my husband and I to dinner and me to a comic convention and I was able to get back to her right away rather than just sitting on it. Felt good and my anxiety was for naught since my husband was up for the dinner! I don’t want to make it seem like he isn’t he usually is and I respect him knowing his own mind when he says no. I am still trying to get out of that mindset that we need to always accept couple invitations; sometimes only one of us wants to go and that is okay!
6. Use social media more effectively. Whelp I didn’t end up deleting my Twitter. I might just let it lie for now since it isn’t doing any harm by just sitting there. It was good to reflect last week on how it bums me out when my posts don’t get hits so now I know to leave it alone unless that is a good medium rather than just posting on it willy nilly.
7. Drink more water. I am still working on my third plant. I did okay this week but I feel like I need to be more aggressive in pursuing this goal. One way I could do this is by immediately drinking when the two hour reminder hits. I haven’t been using this as a format to get all six cups in so I will try this out this week and see how it goes.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I had a great phone call with Joe and Laura on Monday and called my friend Carolyn on her birthday on Friday which gave her a pleasant surprise. This was in person but I caught up with my friend Sara over yoga (with kittens!) and tea on Saturday as well.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had some more time to reflect on behaviors that bother me this week. I don’t like it when people automatically se the negative in things. I do this from time to time (science tells us that we don’t like behaviors in others that we see in ourselves) so my hands are not clean. But I have been noticing it more recently in friends and I just wish that they could enjoy the moment more rather than seeking to find faults. Yes it would be nice if there were more options available during an activity we did or that it was less expensive or numerous other things. But enjoy it for what it is and next time we can take those factors into account. If anything it makes me feel bad that I suggested something in the first place if most of what you say is a complaint. Additionally, I read an article that has had a similar theme for the past year and a half, namely folks in the government quitting because they don’t agree with Trump’s policies. This article was about a commission that works for the National Park Service. On the one hand, I appreciate them standing up for their principles and making a public statement and display about it. But on the other hand, I don’t want them to leave when the going gets tough. I want them to fight from the inside and protect those interests that they believe are under threat. Because that is what I hope to do one day. Make no mistake I do not want to leave my job simply because I want more money or that I disagree with the mission. I agree with the mission, just not enough in my opinion is being done to carry that mission forward. So I say to these people this: I respect you and I know just how frustrating that can be, but we need you now more than ever.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I fell a little bit behind on this this week but have been continuing to learn new words (I filled up a whole notebook!). I know that I am making progress and am on the right path because now it is easier for me to not only memorize words but recognize words’ meanings since I can recognize the individual characters that make up words. This is super exciting!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I am shirking on this goal and I feel bad. But I have been doing some inward exploring as to what my hang-ups are and that has been quite enlightening. This goal in particular is where outward expectations are interfering with my inward peace and, ultimately, happiness so armed with this knowledge I can proceed from here.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I felt a bit guilty this week for buying some expensive make up but at least you get what you pay for because this stuff is fantastic. My husband told me that we didn’t have to live like we are poor so that prompted a nice discussion about furthering out budget goals. And we have bought tickets for a vacation in February! So there is a good goal for saving money so we can live it up!

This Week in Gratitude: Heat, Accountability, and Routine

1. It has been unseasonably cold over the past couple of weeks here in Maryland and I have to profoundly thank the powers that be that we have had working heat the entire time. I cannot imagine how awful it must be for folks whose heat has gone out, are unable to pay to keep it on, or don’t have a warm place to stay in at all. I am so grateful that my family and friends have stayed warm and safe. Here’s hoping it warms up soon!
2. I have been participating in an accountability group with fellow Tiny Leaps group members on the Slack app and it has been great to both get and offer advice for issues that we are all hoping to work on this year. Once I figured out how to use the app it has been a nice daily resource. We are all doing pretty well so far but I am looking forward to support should start falling off the wagon on my goals further into the year.
3. On a related note , I am really enjoying having a routine (such as it is) for 2018. Although I can’t always do my goals at the same time every day since life happens it is nice to at the very least have a check list of everything that I want to get done during the day so I can always feel a small sense of accomplishment. I have also been very proud of my husband for working on his own routine which works for him and that is all that matters.

Second Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Two weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Right on track! My husband and I have been doing this whenever we have time each day and it has been working out well. Occasionally if I know I will be busy when I get home I use the pedal machine that I have under my desk at work to get in my two miles. Luckily since I consistently ride the bike at home for about 16 minutes to complete my mile it makes it easy to crank out at least that much on my pedal machine if not more since it is getting pretty routine for me now (yay!).
2. Use my arm weights every day. Since this takes about five minutes it is super easy to fit in whenever I have time. My husband had a great suggestion to do each of the six exercises for three reps of 10 rather than all 30 at once and I have to say it is marked improvement on my soreness.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is the day that I am cranking these out! After I update on my resolution progress I am going to tackle my gratitude post for this week as well as two posts that came to me while I was reading Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women by Kristine Carlson.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I had a couple more informational interviews this week and when I checked back on an organization’s website that my colleagues had informed me might be posting a job soon I saw that there was one open! So today I am planning on knocking out a draft of my cover letters which I will send over to my dad so he can proofread them and help me shorten my resume a bit.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. Haven’t had to act on this goal this week so I will keep you posted next week!
6. Use social media more effectively. I have decided this week that I am going to delete my personal Twitter. I don’t use it (the Twitter handles I do use are tied to my work) and honestly it’s not really my platform. If anything, it discourages me that 1. I don’t have time to use it effectively outside of work and 2. Contributes to my feelings of inadequacy when things I post don’t really get any traction. So I think it is definitely for the best and if I decide to get more involved with it in the future it is quite easy to jump back on again.
7. Drink more water. I have now grown two plants and started on my third! I was more consistent with drinking six cups last week but still ended up drinking slightly less than the first week since one day my stomach didn’t feel so good so I only drank three cups.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I am planning on calling my friends Joe and Laura today to catch up with them about their recent trip to Costa Rica and how their birthday was, respectively.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had to do a bit more venting this week due to some frustrations with my home office but it felt good to get it off my chest and come up with some ways that I can at least help my own office become more effective, particularly on communications plans. It did reinforce for me the need to explore other options. Plus, I’ve been doing some serious thinking on what worries have been holding me back from being as intimate as I can be with my husband so I am nervous but excited to be an even better wife to a guy that deserves the world.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I have been using my Chinese study apps quite well these past couple of weeks, especially since they are easy to use during quiet time at work and when I am working out (helps distract me from focusing too much on the mile counter). I haven’t had as much time to work in my textbooks but my husband has declared today a study day so I should be able to catch up on that score.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I gotta say one thing that all of this cold weather has been great for has been cuddling in bed or on the couch covered with blankets! Sure is nice to spend time with my favorite human! Now that my period is over let the fun begin! 😉
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. So far so good! I felt slightly guilty (this was from an internal source rather than my husband saying anything) when I went to a craft fair with friends over the past weekend but I used gift money to buy fun things and support local businesses so in the end it didn’t hurt anything. Also, we are planning to have a trip rather than gifts for Valentine’s Day (most likely Vegas baby!) so having a near term travel goal will definitely help us save up and stay on budget.

First Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

One week down! I have never been particularly good at sticking to resolutions so this year I intend to write down those resolutions and each week frankly assess my progress. Here we go!

1. Use my exercise bike every day. So far so good! I have been riding two miles every day and my husband has been doing so as well since we are competitive. I try to do this in the morning but as long as I get around to it before I go to bed that works for me!
2. Use my arm weights every day. Ditto to above! I have been using this workout by Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and it has been great! My arms hurt but hey that means I am making progress.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is helping me fulfill this goal! I need to be better at writing as soon as I have a good idea but this week was all about trying to get used to the other goals on this list so I am still within the week! Plus, at least for my gratitude post, it was nice to keep it until the end since so much great stuff happened to me after Monday so it wouldn’t have been captured right away.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. This obviously won’t happen overnight. But I am taking advantage of a relatively light schedule at work to have informational interviews which has been wonderful to learn more about what I can do ay my current job to build up my skill set and see what is available in the education field.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. This goal needs some context. Though I still get back to people within 48 hours (which is a lot quicker than a lot of people) I always feel bad when I don’t get back to people right away when they invite me to do something. Usually this is because I am not sure if I want to go but don’t want to hurt feelings (especially since it is rare that I am not the one initiating plans) and also I am not sure that my husband will want to do the thing (he is very up front about whether or not he wants to do stuff and is always supportive if I want to do something on my own so I am not sure why this is such a sticking point for me). I didn’t need to act on this goal this week but this is super important to me going forward.
6. Use social media more effectively. This week I have been working on posting on different platforms, including practicing my Chinese on WeChat and Weibo. But I need to get better, especially with LinkedIn which will help me with Goal #4 as well.
7. Drink more water. I downloaded Plant Nanny to help me have outward accountability (I don’t want to kill my plant!) and I have been doing decent. I am supposed to drink six glasses a day and I have been doing pretty well but there have been a couple days were I just felt super saturated so I only drank 3or 4 glasses. But honestly even this is still better than where I was so as long as I make it halfway through my goal each day I will be happy.
8. Call a different friend once a week. My friend Paige actually beat me to the punch this week and called me so that was a wonderful surprise to catch up! Plus, I am continuing my habit of always responding to texts in a timely manner since I want to continue to treat folks how I want to be treated.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. If you recall I wrote a blog post about a fortune cookie that I got last year and I am doing my best to follow this advice. I have been talking about things that annoy me more and right away so they can’t sit in my head and fester. But rather than venting to whomever I have been talking to colleagues and friends who can empathize and offer solutions rather than get into a cycle of complaining. Topics this week include how bureaucratic work has been and the current administration.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Between a slow schedule at work and y passion for studying in general I have exceeded this goal this week (though I did not actually count the hours). I am hoping I don’t fall off the wagon with this like I have done in the past couple of years so I will keep you posted!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I was on my period which never makes me feel particularly sexy but all of the kissing and cuddling this week has been fantastic (not that we ever have a problem with this). I am looking forward to this goal most of all.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. My husband and I updated our Excel and made a plan this week so I am hopeful that we will be able to save even more! However, I did feel a little guilty that I bought a couple fun things for myself this weekend but my husband was super supportive and didn’t mind at all so this was more self-inflicted. Besides, it is good to support small businesses so while I am not going to go crazy I definitely want to make my small purchases count in the grand scheme.

Staying Away from the Two Cs

And what are the two Cs you ask? I’m glad you did!

They are: complicit and complacent.

According to Dictionary.com complicit, which is defined as “choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others,” was chosen as the Word of the Year. This was largely due to the current divisive political climate, which has raised uncomfortable but important questions about civic responsibility and humanity more broadly.

In a similar vein, a word that has also come up a lot recently in my life and discussions with my friends about the culture at our various jobs is complacent, which Dictionary.com defines as “pleased, especially with oneself or one’s merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied.”

I truly hope that I haven’t allowed these words to define what my life has been like, particularly being complicit. But over the last year I have been working on addressing my privilege, which in itself is its own form of complicity and complacency. That is one of the main reasons why I want to chance careers, to be able to tackle issues that I am very passionate about that aren’t getting the support they deserve and also because my own office is, while fighting the good fight, is having an extremely hard time getting over its own bureaucratic complacency. And I know that I need to get out more and fight against what I term extremely complicit and dangerous behaviors in politics, whether that is participating in more protests or, probably more in my comfort zone, interacting more with my representatives and local government officials.

This won’t be easy but it is necessary so I am assigning myself not just a resolution but a new way of life. Here’s my written pledge to stick to it and avoid the two Cs!

This Week in Gratitude: ALL the things! And a Recommendation

Happy 2018 all!! Apologies for being delayed this week but honestly I think that only served to help me find out even more things to be grateful about in this new year. With that, here we go!

1. New year new start! I honestly don’t care if some people think the new year is arbitrary, I love the concept of a fresh start and planning, as much as one can because, you know, life, about what you want to accomplish in the new year. My husband and I worked on our joint couple goals as well as our personal goals and I have to say, a week into working on them, I’m excited.
2. One of my wonderful friends asked me to be one of her bridesmaids this week which was super exciting! It came on a day that I was feeling a bit meh as well so it was absolutely a perfect way to focus on awesome things in the future. I can’t wait to spoil my friend rotten at her showers and celebrate in September!
3. The thing that was bothering me that I referred to above was my in laws subtlety (re. not) asking for us to get pregnant this year. Now we have had numerous conversations about this with them and they seem to understand that we will have children when we want to but it doesn’t seem to stick. Usually this annoys me but I can get over it but the combination of it not even being a week into 2018 and my period (which always makes me paranoid and emotional) just put me into a funk. I reached out to some of my friends to talk through it as well as my self improvement Facebook group and it was supremely helpful. My Facebook group in particular made me feel so humbled by all the support that I received from the women who had been in similar situations. It was so important to feel like I wasn’t alone and these kind and open strangers were in my corner.

I haven’t done this in a while but recently at work I started binging the By the Book podcast. Two women, one more open one skeptical, read a self help book and try to follow the advice therein for two weeks to see if the book is worth recommending. It’s like having a book club with friends (their husbands participate as well and are hilarious) and also learning if self help books would work for you.

 

This Week in Gratitude: Christmas, Gift Cards, and Hopes for the Future

1. I celebrate Christmas but I think that what I felt yesterday could absolutely be applied to any celebration, be they within other religions or just simply fun times. I have always had for the most part fun Christmases but this year in particular I just felt so at peace. I got to see all the family on my mom’s side, including my cousin through FaceTime. We shared laughs, a good meal (which I got to help cook for), and companionable silence. At home with my parents and my husband my mom was less stressed out and let me help her with things more which just made it feel so special since I want her to have a good time too. Although my parents think we spent too much on them, we were able to treat them how they always treat us and give them great presents. But most of all, there was just so much love in the house and it made me really see the true beauty of the holiday season.
2. When Weifang and I switched over to Verizon for cable we got a gift card that we could use on any Verizon products. I went to my local Verizon store today and was not only able to help my parents finish paying off their phones but also take care of our whole joint bill for this month. As an added bonus I got to confirm that my phone is all paid off so that means cheaper bills for me in the future as well. It was wonderful to take this card and pay it forward with my parents who graciously let me be a part of their plan and remove some stuff from their plate as we round out 2017.
3. Over the past week, Weifang and I have been writing down our 2018 goals, getting our budget plan in order, and just looking forward to the future. At work these couple of weeks represent some down time but it has given me the opportunity to really explore what I can and am able to realistically achieve, see how I can help my husband in his journey, and connect with liked minded people and learn from them in the self improvement Facebook group I am in which is connected to the podcast Tiny Leaps, Big Changes. New Years might seem like an arbitrary time to be doing this but I don’t care I am looking forward to all of the triumphs and challenges that 2018 will bring!