Sixth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Six weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. I will admit I dropped the ball this week. Being busy at work for the first time in a while made me less inclined to use my pedal machine and then I just wanted to relax when I got home so there went riding the bike. I will do better on this this week.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I did really good on this this week and don’t feel as tired as I usually do towards the end. I was a bit sore from fencing so I took the last day off to rest.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Still going strong! I might be a little bit late next week on account of our vacation but rest assured when I am back I will make up for it! Besides, although the saying says everything must stay there I do feel that Vegas will make for an excellent muse for my next posts.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I heard back negatively from one of the jobs I applied for and that was disappointing but at least I heard back. Time will tell if I hear back on anything from the other job; regardless I am glad I took this first foray back into the job market. And in a couple of weeks I should learn more about Congress from my dad’s colleague. I plan on reaching out to some of my own Hill colleagues this week to see if I can meet with them and learn about their experiences.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I felt less guilty about saying no to a lunch/dinner this weekend so I could focus on what plans I already had for myself and not stress too much since I still feel slightly under the weather. I also felt less guilty about firmly asking that a meeting that I have coming up not be moved since I don’t want to miss too much work each week.
6. Use social media more effectively. I was reminded on the need to have good social media branding on event materials this week as my colleagues who were putting on the program had their handles in the program flyer. I am really looking forward to putting ours more on display during our next event by using the screens in the room better.
7. Drink more water. I was consistent at meeting my goal about 2/3 each day While it is not the 6 cups at least it was consistent and I felt hydrated which is most important. Plus, I wasn’t going to the bathroom every hour which was much less annoying.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I caught up with a great friend from high school over lunch on Saturday which was wonderful; she even had suggestions about what we should do in Vegas! While some might see texting over phone calls as a cheap way out, since I often feel discouraged if people don’t answer my calls I know that the text, even if they can’t answer right away, shows that I am thinking about them and am staying in touch in a way that is more flexible.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. In another post I just wrote on here about being more open I realized that even if I don’t show it outwardly I am more close minded and judgmental than I would care to admit so I need to be better at being more open even when peoples’ delivery of their opinions rubs me the wrong way.Their delivery is their problem. My goal should be to listen to the substance and seek to connect rather than chafe at their attitude which can be influenced by any number of factors.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I was able to plow through one of my books thanks to having some quiet time on Friday and Saturday. I can’t always count on this but it is great to be able to take advantage of it this time. Plus, the lesson I am working on in my app is words I already know so it is nice to breeze through the review without many mistakes!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I have started thinking about my packing list for our vacation and that will definitely include sexy toys and lube. Since these are things that make me comfortable I feel like they will help get me in the mood even in a hotel room.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I was able to sneak a peek at our budget sheet this week and we have saved around $1,200! Plenty of money to treat ourselves to some fun experiences during our vacation and hopefully still have a little bit saved by the time we come back.

Fourth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Four weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Used my pedal machine more than my actual bike this week but it was a good way to make productive use of my time sitting at my desk and be able to stay on top of exercising when I knew that I would have a long night on Wednesday.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I had to do some make up in this category on Friday as after my long night at work on Wednesday and recovery on Thursday I skipped out on doing the exercises once each day. But I caught up and can still feel progress being made!
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. It is really nice to be back into a groove with this. Now I catch myself thinking about things that I have read or seen or experienced as good topics for posts and use the week to edit my thoughts before I put them to paper.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. Haven’t heard anything back just yet on the applications I turned in but I will keep the faith! In the meantime I will keep looking around to see what else is out there. After doing some research on the midterm races this year for Congress and local government I am more convinced that volunteering in some form on a campaign would be a great learning experience as well.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I have a packed weekend this weekend with the dinner I mentioned last week, a baby shower, and a movie night. It feels good to have all of these opportunities to talk to folks and that Weifang will also have time to play pool since I will be out most of the day on Sunday. Plus, got my ticket for the comic convention in March so that is all set as well!
6. Use social media more effectively. I’ve been going through all of the saved links on my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest to print out or save things that I will actually do or use rather than just always leaving things up. This way I have new recipes to try, new craft projects to make, and lots of fun ideas for when I have children.
7. Drink more water. I am on my fourth plant! But I fell behind on Wednesday on account of staying late at work and sitting in a place with no bathroom (this goal has been a killer on my bladder!). But on the whole I have gotten better at responding right away when my app reminds me that it is time to drink.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I was able to help my friend Paige vent this week when she called me over the phone so I was happy to serve as her sounding board. It was National Compliment Day this week so I let all of my friends know how much they mean to me and got lots of wonderful compliments in return. I am doing better with sending birthday cards this year so far and am happy to provide that small token on my affection. And as I mentioned above I will be seeing a lot of friends this weekend for various activities.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. As I mentioned in my gratitude post today I was happy that I ended a. subscription that ultimately was causing me more harm than good (guilt over not utilizing it properly, the money I felt I was wasting because of that, etc.). But I am very disappointed by how the person running it tried to make me feel guilty and small when the whole point of the field he is in is to help people feel good about themselves and live their best life. Thanks but no thanks dude I am glad I found this out now before I wasted more of my time. I also want to both commend myself for staying patient and vent about why I had to stay late at work this week. We were having our carpet professionally cleaned and I was more than happy to stay late to lend a hand since out elevators lock at a certain time and to make sure they had everything they needed. So that wasn’t the problem. But then, as is always the case, issues arose. The gentleman who showed up was late, he went up the staircase that he wasn’t supposed to which added time to his set up, pretended like we hadn’t told him which staircase to go up, complained hat he had only learned about the job that morning and therefore wasn’t prepared, and surprise, surprise, after two hours of hemming and hawing when he actually got down to business it only took about an hour and a half. Maybe he had been not properly informed by his boss. I don’t care. If it was me I would do my best and help the customer because it would not be his or her fault. Just be the bigger person. Needless to say that for once in my life when they sent the customer survey I actually filled it out and outlined my concerns. Hopefully if there is a next job they will do better. In the end, at least the carpets looked good so something good came out of it.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Weifang told me that my Chinese has gotten a lot better since I started studying since by doing it on multiple platforms vocab words are sticking in my head better.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. Every day I look at my husband I know he is the one. The more we discuss our future and children the more I am so excited that he will always be mine. This is the mindset that I have been truly looking for to overwhelm the doubts outside forces send to me.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. We are going on vacation in a few weeks! Even with this expense by eating out less and keeping to our budget but getting rid of subscriptions and not buying too much we are on track to save over $1,000 this month. We are doing awesome!

Third Week in Review: New Year’s Resolutions

Three weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Still riding along! I did more of a balance between my exercise bike and my pedal machine this week so that hopefully has helped different muscles get some love.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I took my husband’s advice about doing three reps of ten rather than all thirty at once and it goes much smoother! I didn’t exhaust myself as much with lifting the weights over my head so onward and upward.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. This week was a good one for remembering gratitude and venting, two things that I enjoy using writing for since it helps me stay focused on the positive and get out the negative without complaining too much.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I turned in two applications this week!! My dad helped me proofread my cover letters and reformat my resume so we shall see what happens. It was really nice to look at all that I have accomplished so here’s to the next step!
5. Say Yes and No quicker. A friend invited my husband and I to dinner and me to a comic convention and I was able to get back to her right away rather than just sitting on it. Felt good and my anxiety was for naught since my husband was up for the dinner! I don’t want to make it seem like he isn’t he usually is and I respect him knowing his own mind when he says no. I am still trying to get out of that mindset that we need to always accept couple invitations; sometimes only one of us wants to go and that is okay!
6. Use social media more effectively. Whelp I didn’t end up deleting my Twitter. I might just let it lie for now since it isn’t doing any harm by just sitting there. It was good to reflect last week on how it bums me out when my posts don’t get hits so now I know to leave it alone unless that is a good medium rather than just posting on it willy nilly.
7. Drink more water. I am still working on my third plant. I did okay this week but I feel like I need to be more aggressive in pursuing this goal. One way I could do this is by immediately drinking when the two hour reminder hits. I haven’t been using this as a format to get all six cups in so I will try this out this week and see how it goes.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I had a great phone call with Joe and Laura on Monday and called my friend Carolyn on her birthday on Friday which gave her a pleasant surprise. This was in person but I caught up with my friend Sara over yoga (with kittens!) and tea on Saturday as well.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had some more time to reflect on behaviors that bother me this week. I don’t like it when people automatically se the negative in things. I do this from time to time (science tells us that we don’t like behaviors in others that we see in ourselves) so my hands are not clean. But I have been noticing it more recently in friends and I just wish that they could enjoy the moment more rather than seeking to find faults. Yes it would be nice if there were more options available during an activity we did or that it was less expensive or numerous other things. But enjoy it for what it is and next time we can take those factors into account. If anything it makes me feel bad that I suggested something in the first place if most of what you say is a complaint. Additionally, I read an article that has had a similar theme for the past year and a half, namely folks in the government quitting because they don’t agree with Trump’s policies. This article was about a commission that works for the National Park Service. On the one hand, I appreciate them standing up for their principles and making a public statement and display about it. But on the other hand, I don’t want them to leave when the going gets tough. I want them to fight from the inside and protect those interests that they believe are under threat. Because that is what I hope to do one day. Make no mistake I do not want to leave my job simply because I want more money or that I disagree with the mission. I agree with the mission, just not enough in my opinion is being done to carry that mission forward. So I say to these people this: I respect you and I know just how frustrating that can be, but we need you now more than ever.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I fell a little bit behind on this this week but have been continuing to learn new words (I filled up a whole notebook!). I know that I am making progress and am on the right path because now it is easier for me to not only memorize words but recognize words’ meanings since I can recognize the individual characters that make up words. This is super exciting!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I am shirking on this goal and I feel bad. But I have been doing some inward exploring as to what my hang-ups are and that has been quite enlightening. This goal in particular is where outward expectations are interfering with my inward peace and, ultimately, happiness so armed with this knowledge I can proceed from here.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I felt a bit guilty this week for buying some expensive make up but at least you get what you pay for because this stuff is fantastic. My husband told me that we didn’t have to live like we are poor so that prompted a nice discussion about furthering out budget goals. And we have bought tickets for a vacation in February! So there is a good goal for saving money so we can live it up!

Second Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Two weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Right on track! My husband and I have been doing this whenever we have time each day and it has been working out well. Occasionally if I know I will be busy when I get home I use the pedal machine that I have under my desk at work to get in my two miles. Luckily since I consistently ride the bike at home for about 16 minutes to complete my mile it makes it easy to crank out at least that much on my pedal machine if not more since it is getting pretty routine for me now (yay!).
2. Use my arm weights every day. Since this takes about five minutes it is super easy to fit in whenever I have time. My husband had a great suggestion to do each of the six exercises for three reps of 10 rather than all 30 at once and I have to say it is marked improvement on my soreness.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is the day that I am cranking these out! After I update on my resolution progress I am going to tackle my gratitude post for this week as well as two posts that came to me while I was reading Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women by Kristine Carlson.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I had a couple more informational interviews this week and when I checked back on an organization’s website that my colleagues had informed me might be posting a job soon I saw that there was one open! So today I am planning on knocking out a draft of my cover letters which I will send over to my dad so he can proofread them and help me shorten my resume a bit.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. Haven’t had to act on this goal this week so I will keep you posted next week!
6. Use social media more effectively. I have decided this week that I am going to delete my personal Twitter. I don’t use it (the Twitter handles I do use are tied to my work) and honestly it’s not really my platform. If anything, it discourages me that 1. I don’t have time to use it effectively outside of work and 2. Contributes to my feelings of inadequacy when things I post don’t really get any traction. So I think it is definitely for the best and if I decide to get more involved with it in the future it is quite easy to jump back on again.
7. Drink more water. I have now grown two plants and started on my third! I was more consistent with drinking six cups last week but still ended up drinking slightly less than the first week since one day my stomach didn’t feel so good so I only drank three cups.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I am planning on calling my friends Joe and Laura today to catch up with them about their recent trip to Costa Rica and how their birthday was, respectively.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had to do a bit more venting this week due to some frustrations with my home office but it felt good to get it off my chest and come up with some ways that I can at least help my own office become more effective, particularly on communications plans. It did reinforce for me the need to explore other options. Plus, I’ve been doing some serious thinking on what worries have been holding me back from being as intimate as I can be with my husband so I am nervous but excited to be an even better wife to a guy that deserves the world.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I have been using my Chinese study apps quite well these past couple of weeks, especially since they are easy to use during quiet time at work and when I am working out (helps distract me from focusing too much on the mile counter). I haven’t had as much time to work in my textbooks but my husband has declared today a study day so I should be able to catch up on that score.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I gotta say one thing that all of this cold weather has been great for has been cuddling in bed or on the couch covered with blankets! Sure is nice to spend time with my favorite human! Now that my period is over let the fun begin! 😉
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. So far so good! I felt slightly guilty (this was from an internal source rather than my husband saying anything) when I went to a craft fair with friends over the past weekend but I used gift money to buy fun things and support local businesses so in the end it didn’t hurt anything. Also, we are planning to have a trip rather than gifts for Valentine’s Day (most likely Vegas baby!) so having a near term travel goal will definitely help us save up and stay on budget.

First Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

One week down! I have never been particularly good at sticking to resolutions so this year I intend to write down those resolutions and each week frankly assess my progress. Here we go!

1. Use my exercise bike every day. So far so good! I have been riding two miles every day and my husband has been doing so as well since we are competitive. I try to do this in the morning but as long as I get around to it before I go to bed that works for me!
2. Use my arm weights every day. Ditto to above! I have been using this workout by Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and it has been great! My arms hurt but hey that means I am making progress.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is helping me fulfill this goal! I need to be better at writing as soon as I have a good idea but this week was all about trying to get used to the other goals on this list so I am still within the week! Plus, at least for my gratitude post, it was nice to keep it until the end since so much great stuff happened to me after Monday so it wouldn’t have been captured right away.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. This obviously won’t happen overnight. But I am taking advantage of a relatively light schedule at work to have informational interviews which has been wonderful to learn more about what I can do ay my current job to build up my skill set and see what is available in the education field.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. This goal needs some context. Though I still get back to people within 48 hours (which is a lot quicker than a lot of people) I always feel bad when I don’t get back to people right away when they invite me to do something. Usually this is because I am not sure if I want to go but don’t want to hurt feelings (especially since it is rare that I am not the one initiating plans) and also I am not sure that my husband will want to do the thing (he is very up front about whether or not he wants to do stuff and is always supportive if I want to do something on my own so I am not sure why this is such a sticking point for me). I didn’t need to act on this goal this week but this is super important to me going forward.
6. Use social media more effectively. This week I have been working on posting on different platforms, including practicing my Chinese on WeChat and Weibo. But I need to get better, especially with LinkedIn which will help me with Goal #4 as well.
7. Drink more water. I downloaded Plant Nanny to help me have outward accountability (I don’t want to kill my plant!) and I have been doing decent. I am supposed to drink six glasses a day and I have been doing pretty well but there have been a couple days were I just felt super saturated so I only drank 3or 4 glasses. But honestly even this is still better than where I was so as long as I make it halfway through my goal each day I will be happy.
8. Call a different friend once a week. My friend Paige actually beat me to the punch this week and called me so that was a wonderful surprise to catch up! Plus, I am continuing my habit of always responding to texts in a timely manner since I want to continue to treat folks how I want to be treated.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. If you recall I wrote a blog post about a fortune cookie that I got last year and I am doing my best to follow this advice. I have been talking about things that annoy me more and right away so they can’t sit in my head and fester. But rather than venting to whomever I have been talking to colleagues and friends who can empathize and offer solutions rather than get into a cycle of complaining. Topics this week include how bureaucratic work has been and the current administration.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Between a slow schedule at work and y passion for studying in general I have exceeded this goal this week (though I did not actually count the hours). I am hoping I don’t fall off the wagon with this like I have done in the past couple of years so I will keep you posted!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I was on my period which never makes me feel particularly sexy but all of the kissing and cuddling this week has been fantastic (not that we ever have a problem with this). I am looking forward to this goal most of all.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. My husband and I updated our Excel and made a plan this week so I am hopeful that we will be able to save even more! However, I did feel a little guilty that I bought a couple fun things for myself this weekend but my husband was super supportive and didn’t mind at all so this was more self-inflicted. Besides, it is good to support small businesses so while I am not going to go crazy I definitely want to make my small purchases count in the grand scheme.

House Guests for Eternity: Communicating Across Language

Communication is important regardless of background. But it takes on a special meaning in a blended family where each side has a different mother tongue and perceptions of how language should be utilized. English and Chinese are not just different because of how they sound or how they are written. There is a tone that is different. Chinese people are more upfront, which at times can be refreshing and at times can be jarring. Often no offense is meant by it but there is a certain stubbornness that comes with it that makes it exasperating to try and correct in mixed company. English is no less blameless. I only speak from my limited American point of view we are often looking into words to suss out a meaning, often negative or challenging our sense of pride, that really isn’t there. There is a lot of beating around the bush or saying things that we don’t really mean to get our way. And don’t even get me started on sarcasm.

Navigating this minefield with the grace of a ballet dancer is my poor husband whose native Chinese and nearly flawless English made him the de facto translator of our family. He manages quite well, and in doing so only made me feel worse for my albeit it growing by nonetheless nowhere near fluent grasp of Chinese. I hated having to always rely on him to make my simple sentences form into more complex thoughts, not to mention when I had to stare vacantly at him to help me understand. As someone who is constantly trying to get better at public speaking this in no way helped my confidence, especially when I did manage to get a sentence correct I was met with blank stares until family members remembered that I could speak at least some Chinese so they needed to pay attention to what I was saying.  But aside from these selfish reasons, the main reason I felt bad was I couldn’t alleviate the burden from my husband for translating for everyone and also couldn’t back him up during arguments with his parents. That is supposed to be what wives do but I could only catch a word or to; when combined with my desire to avoid confrontation at all costs this made me feel quite useless.

To combat this and continue with something that I do enjoy despite my lack of patience, I continued to both look over my Chinese text books and the subtitles in the shows we watched as well as observe like an anthropologist all conversations that I couldn’t understand in the hopes that I would internalize the vocabulary. I will  say this, my mini four month immersion did have a profound effect on my listening skills and to a certain extent my speaking once I was able to get over the fear of using the wrong tone and the vacant stares. As my husband and I continue to study together I fully intent to keep working on my Chinese so one day I might in fact hold full conversations with my in-laws.

One of the brighter aspects of my in-laws’ visit also centered around language learning. Since she could only complete a high school education on account of her family’s circumstances, my mother-in-law was not able to continue her passion of learning. One of those passions now includes the English language. I am not sure if this grew out of her children and in-laws speaking the language or if it began long ago but I am so proud of her for tackling this with such enthusiasm. While they stayed with us (my father-in-law quite reluctant but ever dutiful) they attended a free English language learning class. Each day my mother-in-law would come home with stories, have us check her homework, and cover our walls with Post It notes of all her new vocabulary words. It was a wonderful way to bond and also to practice my Chinese as I was forced to translate complex English words and grammar patterns. I am so glad that she was able to take advantage of something she was interested in, specifically since it allowed her a moment of peace and exploration of America since her class of course was made  up of other immigrants seeking new opportunities themselves. It made me remember just how much I love learning a language to use as a door to unlock a country and its people. And I hope that this shared love of learning will allow us to unlock aspects of our connection that have not yet found the right words.

Songs That Inspire Me: Wedding Edition

My husband and I got married on May 9th of this year and we could not have asked for a more beautiful day and more wonderful people to share it with. One of the only things that made me almost go Bridezilla however was our DJ’s lack of prompt responses and cutting it really close on setting up the day of. He did a wonderful job in the end so all is forgiven but as anyone who has either planned a wedding or is just a lover of music knows, finding the right songs is extremely important. With that in mind, let me share with you the songs that were important to us on our big day.

 Happy by Pharrell Williams

Inspired by a video that I had seen years ago of the wedding party walking down the aisle to something other than the traditional wedding march, we decided to have everyone, including the groom, groomsman, parents, and officiant walk down the aisle to something upbeat and fun. This way rather than having people stand and wait we could all shake loose and enjoy ourselves (dancing or not) before the festivities got underway. This worked out perfectly since we had to start about 10 minutes late due to a bad accident on the Bay Bridge, allowing everyone to have some fun after some at times arduous car journeys.

Everything is Awesome by Tegan and Sara

After having my DJ agree to play “Happy” for the wedding party he told me that “the bride should have her own music” to walk down to. Though he probably thought I was joking at first I asked for “Everything is Awesome” from the LEGO movie. I am a big fan of LEGOs in general but I also really appreciated this movie for its themes about becoming a better version of yourself, particularly with working as a team and thinking outside the box. What better way to start off the wedding by expressing how, even with the traffic issues in the beginning, everything was going to be awesome no matter what happened. And the best part? I kept it a secret from everyone including my dad as we walked down the aisle so hearing all of the laughter and clapping made it extra special.

陳奕迅 + 王菲 【因為愛情】

Weifang and I have many songs that we consider “our song.” But I thought for our first dance we should have one in his native language of Chinese since the meeting of both of our families represents a big part of who we are and what makes us unique (the song he danced to with his mother was also in Chinese). This song in particular, which is about love, was one that we sang together for an exhibition by all of the Chinese classes at our alma mater the University of Delaware as part of a festival. We had a great time then performing it for our friends and it had helped me overcome my fear of singing in a very small group. I did chorus up through high school but doing a duet is something I had not yet attempted so being able to overcome this stage fright with my soulmate who himself is slightly nervous to sing made it a perfect choice as we vowed to support each other through all of life’s up and downs on the new journey we began on our wedding day.

You and Me by Lifehouse

My dad is my best friend. He has been there for me through thick and thin and is my everything. One of our numerous father-daughter traditions is going to see our favorite band, Lifehouse, live. To date we have seen them 6 times and have plans to see them again when they are back on tour in the US. So when I had to plan our father-daughter dance I knew immediately which song we would dance to: the first Lifehouse song we ever heard. And it was perfect because my father, an emotional man, who had been holding it together all through giving me away and his toast at dinner lost it. By the time his synced in choice of “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts came on my mom, who is not as emotional, had to come out to “save him” and we all danced emotionally together.

Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey

This was the second-to-last song played at our wedding. We had wanted it included since it is a timeless classic that everyone could enjoy and our guests did not disappoint. Lyrics were shouted, people got down on their knees, and for the last rounds of the chorus nearly everyone was involved in a long high-kick line.

My friends Tiffany (center) and Nikki (kneeling) serenading me during “Don’t Stop Believin'”

Weifang dancing with his mom

Dancing with my dad and mom

Everything is Awesome

Belting out “Don’t Stop Believin'” with my Matron of Honor and best friend Kristi

Our friends Joe and Laura dancing to “Happy” down the aisle

Last dance

High kick line

High kick line