Fourth Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Four weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Used my pedal machine more than my actual bike this week but it was a good way to make productive use of my time sitting at my desk and be able to stay on top of exercising when I knew that I would have a long night on Wednesday.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I had to do some make up in this category on Friday as after my long night at work on Wednesday and recovery on Thursday I skipped out on doing the exercises once each day. But I caught up and can still feel progress being made!
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. It is really nice to be back into a groove with this. Now I catch myself thinking about things that I have read or seen or experienced as good topics for posts and use the week to edit my thoughts before I put them to paper.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. Haven’t heard anything back just yet on the applications I turned in but I will keep the faith! In the meantime I will keep looking around to see what else is out there. After doing some research on the midterm races this year for Congress and local government I am more convinced that volunteering in some form on a campaign would be a great learning experience as well.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. I have a packed weekend this weekend with the dinner I mentioned last week, a baby shower, and a movie night. It feels good to have all of these opportunities to talk to folks and that Weifang will also have time to play pool since I will be out most of the day on Sunday. Plus, got my ticket for the comic convention in March so that is all set as well!
6. Use social media more effectively. I’ve been going through all of the saved links on my Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest to print out or save things that I will actually do or use rather than just always leaving things up. This way I have new recipes to try, new craft projects to make, and lots of fun ideas for when I have children.
7. Drink more water. I am on my fourth plant! But I fell behind on Wednesday on account of staying late at work and sitting in a place with no bathroom (this goal has been a killer on my bladder!). But on the whole I have gotten better at responding right away when my app reminds me that it is time to drink.
8. Call a/on different friend once a week. I was able to help my friend Paige vent this week when she called me over the phone so I was happy to serve as her sounding board. It was National Compliment Day this week so I let all of my friends know how much they mean to me and got lots of wonderful compliments in return. I am doing better with sending birthday cards this year so far and am happy to provide that small token on my affection. And as I mentioned above I will be seeing a lot of friends this weekend for various activities.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. As I mentioned in my gratitude post today I was happy that I ended a. subscription that ultimately was causing me more harm than good (guilt over not utilizing it properly, the money I felt I was wasting because of that, etc.). But I am very disappointed by how the person running it tried to make me feel guilty and small when the whole point of the field he is in is to help people feel good about themselves and live their best life. Thanks but no thanks dude I am glad I found this out now before I wasted more of my time. I also want to both commend myself for staying patient and vent about why I had to stay late at work this week. We were having our carpet professionally cleaned and I was more than happy to stay late to lend a hand since out elevators lock at a certain time and to make sure they had everything they needed. So that wasn’t the problem. But then, as is always the case, issues arose. The gentleman who showed up was late, he went up the staircase that he wasn’t supposed to which added time to his set up, pretended like we hadn’t told him which staircase to go up, complained hat he had only learned about the job that morning and therefore wasn’t prepared, and surprise, surprise, after two hours of hemming and hawing when he actually got down to business it only took about an hour and a half. Maybe he had been not properly informed by his boss. I don’t care. If it was me I would do my best and help the customer because it would not be his or her fault. Just be the bigger person. Needless to say that for once in my life when they sent the customer survey I actually filled it out and outlined my concerns. Hopefully if there is a next job they will do better. In the end, at least the carpets looked good so something good came out of it.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Weifang told me that my Chinese has gotten a lot better since I started studying since by doing it on multiple platforms vocab words are sticking in my head better.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. Every day I look at my husband I know he is the one. The more we discuss our future and children the more I am so excited that he will always be mine. This is the mindset that I have been truly looking for to overwhelm the doubts outside forces send to me.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. We are going on vacation in a few weeks! Even with this expense by eating out less and keeping to our budget but getting rid of subscriptions and not buying too much we are on track to save over $1,000 this month. We are doing awesome!

Third Week in Review: New Year’s Resolutions

Three weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Still riding along! I did more of a balance between my exercise bike and my pedal machine this week so that hopefully has helped different muscles get some love.
2. Use my arm weights every day. I took my husband’s advice about doing three reps of ten rather than all thirty at once and it goes much smoother! I didn’t exhaust myself as much with lifting the weights over my head so onward and upward.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. This week was a good one for remembering gratitude and venting, two things that I enjoy using writing for since it helps me stay focused on the positive and get out the negative without complaining too much.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I turned in two applications this week!! My dad helped me proofread my cover letters and reformat my resume so we shall see what happens. It was really nice to look at all that I have accomplished so here’s to the next step!
5. Say Yes and No quicker. A friend invited my husband and I to dinner and me to a comic convention and I was able to get back to her right away rather than just sitting on it. Felt good and my anxiety was for naught since my husband was up for the dinner! I don’t want to make it seem like he isn’t he usually is and I respect him knowing his own mind when he says no. I am still trying to get out of that mindset that we need to always accept couple invitations; sometimes only one of us wants to go and that is okay!
6. Use social media more effectively. Whelp I didn’t end up deleting my Twitter. I might just let it lie for now since it isn’t doing any harm by just sitting there. It was good to reflect last week on how it bums me out when my posts don’t get hits so now I know to leave it alone unless that is a good medium rather than just posting on it willy nilly.
7. Drink more water. I am still working on my third plant. I did okay this week but I feel like I need to be more aggressive in pursuing this goal. One way I could do this is by immediately drinking when the two hour reminder hits. I haven’t been using this as a format to get all six cups in so I will try this out this week and see how it goes.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I had a great phone call with Joe and Laura on Monday and called my friend Carolyn on her birthday on Friday which gave her a pleasant surprise. This was in person but I caught up with my friend Sara over yoga (with kittens!) and tea on Saturday as well.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had some more time to reflect on behaviors that bother me this week. I don’t like it when people automatically se the negative in things. I do this from time to time (science tells us that we don’t like behaviors in others that we see in ourselves) so my hands are not clean. But I have been noticing it more recently in friends and I just wish that they could enjoy the moment more rather than seeking to find faults. Yes it would be nice if there were more options available during an activity we did or that it was less expensive or numerous other things. But enjoy it for what it is and next time we can take those factors into account. If anything it makes me feel bad that I suggested something in the first place if most of what you say is a complaint. Additionally, I read an article that has had a similar theme for the past year and a half, namely folks in the government quitting because they don’t agree with Trump’s policies. This article was about a commission that works for the National Park Service. On the one hand, I appreciate them standing up for their principles and making a public statement and display about it. But on the other hand, I don’t want them to leave when the going gets tough. I want them to fight from the inside and protect those interests that they believe are under threat. Because that is what I hope to do one day. Make no mistake I do not want to leave my job simply because I want more money or that I disagree with the mission. I agree with the mission, just not enough in my opinion is being done to carry that mission forward. So I say to these people this: I respect you and I know just how frustrating that can be, but we need you now more than ever.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I fell a little bit behind on this this week but have been continuing to learn new words (I filled up a whole notebook!). I know that I am making progress and am on the right path because now it is easier for me to not only memorize words but recognize words’ meanings since I can recognize the individual characters that make up words. This is super exciting!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I am shirking on this goal and I feel bad. But I have been doing some inward exploring as to what my hang-ups are and that has been quite enlightening. This goal in particular is where outward expectations are interfering with my inward peace and, ultimately, happiness so armed with this knowledge I can proceed from here.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. I felt a bit guilty this week for buying some expensive make up but at least you get what you pay for because this stuff is fantastic. My husband told me that we didn’t have to live like we are poor so that prompted a nice discussion about furthering out budget goals. And we have bought tickets for a vacation in February! So there is a good goal for saving money so we can live it up!

This Week in Gratitude: Heat, Accountability, and Routine

1. It has been unseasonably cold over the past couple of weeks here in Maryland and I have to profoundly thank the powers that be that we have had working heat the entire time. I cannot imagine how awful it must be for folks whose heat has gone out, are unable to pay to keep it on, or don’t have a warm place to stay in at all. I am so grateful that my family and friends have stayed warm and safe. Here’s hoping it warms up soon!
2. I have been participating in an accountability group with fellow Tiny Leaps group members on the Slack app and it has been great to both get and offer advice for issues that we are all hoping to work on this year. Once I figured out how to use the app it has been a nice daily resource. We are all doing pretty well so far but I am looking forward to support should start falling off the wagon on my goals further into the year.
3. On a related note , I am really enjoying having a routine (such as it is) for 2018. Although I can’t always do my goals at the same time every day since life happens it is nice to at the very least have a check list of everything that I want to get done during the day so I can always feel a small sense of accomplishment. I have also been very proud of my husband for working on his own routine which works for him and that is all that matters.

Second Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

Two weeks down! Here’s my summation of my progress.

1. Use my exercise bike every day. Right on track! My husband and I have been doing this whenever we have time each day and it has been working out well. Occasionally if I know I will be busy when I get home I use the pedal machine that I have under my desk at work to get in my two miles. Luckily since I consistently ride the bike at home for about 16 minutes to complete my mile it makes it easy to crank out at least that much on my pedal machine if not more since it is getting pretty routine for me now (yay!).
2. Use my arm weights every day. Since this takes about five minutes it is super easy to fit in whenever I have time. My husband had a great suggestion to do each of the six exercises for three reps of 10 rather than all 30 at once and I have to say it is marked improvement on my soreness.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is the day that I am cranking these out! After I update on my resolution progress I am going to tackle my gratitude post for this week as well as two posts that came to me while I was reading Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women by Kristine Carlson.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. I had a couple more informational interviews this week and when I checked back on an organization’s website that my colleagues had informed me might be posting a job soon I saw that there was one open! So today I am planning on knocking out a draft of my cover letters which I will send over to my dad so he can proofread them and help me shorten my resume a bit.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. Haven’t had to act on this goal this week so I will keep you posted next week!
6. Use social media more effectively. I have decided this week that I am going to delete my personal Twitter. I don’t use it (the Twitter handles I do use are tied to my work) and honestly it’s not really my platform. If anything, it discourages me that 1. I don’t have time to use it effectively outside of work and 2. Contributes to my feelings of inadequacy when things I post don’t really get any traction. So I think it is definitely for the best and if I decide to get more involved with it in the future it is quite easy to jump back on again.
7. Drink more water. I have now grown two plants and started on my third! I was more consistent with drinking six cups last week but still ended up drinking slightly less than the first week since one day my stomach didn’t feel so good so I only drank three cups.
8. Call a different friend once a week. I am planning on calling my friends Joe and Laura today to catch up with them about their recent trip to Costa Rica and how their birthday was, respectively.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. I had to do a bit more venting this week due to some frustrations with my home office but it felt good to get it off my chest and come up with some ways that I can at least help my own office become more effective, particularly on communications plans. It did reinforce for me the need to explore other options. Plus, I’ve been doing some serious thinking on what worries have been holding me back from being as intimate as I can be with my husband so I am nervous but excited to be an even better wife to a guy that deserves the world.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. I have been using my Chinese study apps quite well these past couple of weeks, especially since they are easy to use during quiet time at work and when I am working out (helps distract me from focusing too much on the mile counter). I haven’t had as much time to work in my textbooks but my husband has declared today a study day so I should be able to catch up on that score.
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I gotta say one thing that all of this cold weather has been great for has been cuddling in bed or on the couch covered with blankets! Sure is nice to spend time with my favorite human! Now that my period is over let the fun begin! 😉
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. So far so good! I felt slightly guilty (this was from an internal source rather than my husband saying anything) when I went to a craft fair with friends over the past weekend but I used gift money to buy fun things and support local businesses so in the end it didn’t hurt anything. Also, we are planning to have a trip rather than gifts for Valentine’s Day (most likely Vegas baby!) so having a near term travel goal will definitely help us save up and stay on budget.

First Week in Review: New Years Resolutions

One week down! I have never been particularly good at sticking to resolutions so this year I intend to write down those resolutions and each week frankly assess my progress. Here we go!

1. Use my exercise bike every day. So far so good! I have been riding two miles every day and my husband has been doing so as well since we are competitive. I try to do this in the morning but as long as I get around to it before I go to bed that works for me!
2. Use my arm weights every day. Ditto to above! I have been using this workout by Olympic swimmer Dara Torres and it has been great! My arms hurt but hey that means I am making progress.
3. Write at least two blog posts a week. Today is helping me fulfill this goal! I need to be better at writing as soon as I have a good idea but this week was all about trying to get used to the other goals on this list so I am still within the week! Plus, at least for my gratitude post, it was nice to keep it until the end since so much great stuff happened to me after Monday so it wouldn’t have been captured right away.
4. Find (and hopefully start) a new job in 2018. This obviously won’t happen overnight. But I am taking advantage of a relatively light schedule at work to have informational interviews which has been wonderful to learn more about what I can do ay my current job to build up my skill set and see what is available in the education field.
5. Say Yes and No quicker. This goal needs some context. Though I still get back to people within 48 hours (which is a lot quicker than a lot of people) I always feel bad when I don’t get back to people right away when they invite me to do something. Usually this is because I am not sure if I want to go but don’t want to hurt feelings (especially since it is rare that I am not the one initiating plans) and also I am not sure that my husband will want to do the thing (he is very up front about whether or not he wants to do stuff and is always supportive if I want to do something on my own so I am not sure why this is such a sticking point for me). I didn’t need to act on this goal this week but this is super important to me going forward.
6. Use social media more effectively. This week I have been working on posting on different platforms, including practicing my Chinese on WeChat and Weibo. But I need to get better, especially with LinkedIn which will help me with Goal #4 as well.
7. Drink more water. I downloaded Plant Nanny to help me have outward accountability (I don’t want to kill my plant!) and I have been doing decent. I am supposed to drink six glasses a day and I have been doing pretty well but there have been a couple days were I just felt super saturated so I only drank 3or 4 glasses. But honestly even this is still better than where I was so as long as I make it halfway through my goal each day I will be happy.
8. Call a different friend once a week. My friend Paige actually beat me to the punch this week and called me so that was a wonderful surprise to catch up! Plus, I am continuing my habit of always responding to texts in a timely manner since I want to continue to treat folks how I want to be treated.
9. Stay in touch, above all, with how [I] feel. If you recall I wrote a blog post about a fortune cookie that I got last year and I am doing my best to follow this advice. I have been talking about things that annoy me more and right away so they can’t sit in my head and fester. But rather than venting to whomever I have been talking to colleagues and friends who can empathize and offer solutions rather than get into a cycle of complaining. Topics this week include how bureaucratic work has been and the current administration.
10. Study Chinese at least four hours a week. Between a slow schedule at work and y passion for studying in general I have exceeded this goal this week (though I did not actually count the hours). I am hoping I don’t fall off the wagon with this like I have done in the past couple of years so I will keep you posted!
11. Be even more intimate with my husband. I was on my period which never makes me feel particularly sexy but all of the kissing and cuddling this week has been fantastic (not that we ever have a problem with this). I am looking forward to this goal most of all.
12. Stick to the budget my husband and I make. My husband and I updated our Excel and made a plan this week so I am hopeful that we will be able to save even more! However, I did feel a little guilty that I bought a couple fun things for myself this weekend but my husband was super supportive and didn’t mind at all so this was more self-inflicted. Besides, it is good to support small businesses so while I am not going to go crazy I definitely want to make my small purchases count in the grand scheme.

Staying Away from the Two Cs

And what are the two Cs you ask? I’m glad you did!

They are: complicit and complacent.

According to Dictionary.com complicit, which is defined as “choosing to be involved in an illegal or questionable act, especially with others,” was chosen as the Word of the Year. This was largely due to the current divisive political climate, which has raised uncomfortable but important questions about civic responsibility and humanity more broadly.

In a similar vein, a word that has also come up a lot recently in my life and discussions with my friends about the culture at our various jobs is complacent, which Dictionary.com defines as “pleased, especially with oneself or one’s merits, advantages, situation, etc., often without awareness of some potential danger or defect; self-satisfied.”

I truly hope that I haven’t allowed these words to define what my life has been like, particularly being complicit. But over the last year I have been working on addressing my privilege, which in itself is its own form of complicity and complacency. That is one of the main reasons why I want to chance careers, to be able to tackle issues that I am very passionate about that aren’t getting the support they deserve and also because my own office is, while fighting the good fight, is having an extremely hard time getting over its own bureaucratic complacency. And I know that I need to get out more and fight against what I term extremely complicit and dangerous behaviors in politics, whether that is participating in more protests or, probably more in my comfort zone, interacting more with my representatives and local government officials.

This won’t be easy but it is necessary so I am assigning myself not just a resolution but a new way of life. Here’s my written pledge to stick to it and avoid the two Cs!

Another Year, Another….Fortune Cookie?

Today is my 27th birthday. I have been thinking a lot about all that is happened in the past year, from celebrations of friends’ accomplishments to the ending of friendships, to visits from family, both welcome and not, to growth with my husband and best friend, and, most importantly, to re-examinations of myself and how I conduct myself in this journey we call life. I have become more open about my anxiety, gotten tattoos, been apologetic in my love of those that matter to me, and (still working on this) a giver of less fucks. So where should this new year take me? That is the question.

I am a lover of inspirational sayings and pithy life advice. One recently took the form of a fortune cookie that I got a few weeks ago: “Stay in touch, above all, with how you feel.” Now, sometimes it is hard for me to say exactly how I feel since anxiety ramps up my feelings to at times absurd levels but I feel like this is a great piece of advice nonetheless. I have put my feelings aside to make sure others don’t feel uncomfortable or that I don’t let folks down even if that thing makes ME feel uncomfortable. So rather than learning how to say no or say yes to things (I challenge myself all the time and am more than happy to try new things even if I end up doing them by myself) I need to be more comfortable with saying “You know what? This makes me feel x or I should/shouldn’t do it and who cares what others think.” Because that last part is the thing that messes up my progress: thinking about what others think even though most of the time the people who have and deserve my love would respect my feelings.

I need to trust my gut as my psychology teacher taught me in high school since oftentimes your gut is correct. In this case, I need to trust my gut when it says “Hey these are your feelings and that is okay. You are feeling these for a reason.” This might take me  the whole year but if 27 is anything like 26 oh what a illuminating and awesome journey it will be.