This Week in Gratitude: Underdogs, Public Diplomacy, and CSI Marathons

1. My husband and I watched the Super Bowl between the Philadelphia Eagles and the New England Patriots with my parents. Though both from New England, my mom was rooting for the underdog Eagles and my dad was staunchly for the Patriots. Weifang was rooting for whomever played the better game. I was also for the Eagles in light of being tired of the same teams always making and eventually winning the Super Bowl. Plus, as my dad put it, I wanted to use this game as a metaphor for the current state of politics where the little guy is often overwhelmed by the better equipped (largely because of money spent on resources) establishment; in this case an establishment that has also seen its share of controversy in recent years. So imagine my happiness that the Eagles did their mascot justice and played an almost perfect game to victory. If they could do it, I thought, we can do this year in the midterms and other facets of making sure the establishment doesn’t always win. However, I would ask that during our victories we don’t harm our cities as that is never a good look. The other side should never be able to find a fault with our anger or our celebration since both emotions are valid and need to be taken seriously.
2. For the first time in a while I was able to attend an event that I myself was not hosting. Although I helped my colleagues who did put it on by helping them get a room on the Hill and connecting them with speakers including my director it was nice to just sit back and listen to what was being said (albeit with occasional social media posting as that job never ends). While these speakers were largely preaching to the choir, it was nonetheless wonderful to hear about all of their activities for promoting global citizenship and studying abroad. I can only hope that very soon I will be sitting up with them on the dais and speaking about what I am doing to make a difference rather than just listening.
3. I took a much needed sick day on Friday to just relax and stay at home until my fencing class. While taking a break from studying and eating my lunch I was flipping channels and came across a marathon of CSI episodes. While it was partly because I will be going to Las Vegas with Weifang soon another part of me was excited to just sit back and watch a show for nostalgia’s sake. Sometimes that is truly what the doctor ordered.

This [Way Overdue] Week in Gratitude: Heat, Birthdays, and Co-Studying; Also, Current Obsessions

Sorry all! I really dropped the ball last week in not doing a gratitude post and can only blame myself and my inability to just jump in and write it, especially since I do like writing and always have things to be grateful for (especially this month!).

1. Now that it is finally getting seasonably cold I am extremely grateful to have a warm house to go home to at night and the ability to pay for heat to keep my family warm. As someone who is not a fan of the cold I can’t begin to imagine what it is like to have to stay in places with no heat or have nowhere warm to go to at all so this is something I will never take for granted.
2. Today is my husband’s birthday! He’s not big on birthday celebrations so we are just doing something quiet but that doesn’t make his birthday any less important or something to be grateful for. For having another year (and hopefully many more!) with him to the births and upcoming births of my friends’ children to all of the birthdays of everyone in my life I am grateful to have more years with you and be able to wish them all a Happy Thanksgiving in a few days.
3. To get back on track with our long-term goals my husband and I have begun actually using our home office (I know shocker) to study our respective material. He is working on studying for the CPA for accounting and I am working on reviewing my Chinese. It is  nice to be working separately but together, providing a nice way for us to keep each other accountable without being overbearing. And as someone who likes to study but enjoys having company (even if it is silent) this is a great way to go about it.

And now I promised to share some of my current obsessions. Hopefully I will have things to popualte this list too each week. I promise I will be back on track next week!

Obsession in music: I love the song Thunder by Imagine Dragons. The empowerment and f-you all I made it despite your hating (in a nicer way of course) really speaks to me. Great power anthem!

Obsession in books: I had the opportunity to finally read Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring about the dangers to nature and, ultimately, humanity posed by the overuse of pesticides a few months ago and it completely lived up to my expectations. Currently I am reading the biography of Dr. Carson by Linda Lear, which delves deep into her extraordinary career and her love of nature, especially the ocean. If you love nature and want to learn more about one of the most important people in nature conservation look no further.

Obsession in TV: It might be a bit far-fetched to call this an obsession since TV isn’t really my medium but I watched the first season of Dexter just for fun and LOVED IT. Of course one of my other favorite TV shows, Hannibal, is about a serial killer and my current and forever obsession Mr. Robot engages in a lot of inner monologue about how different the protagonist feels from mainstream society. So it’s no surprise that I like this.

Ode to Mr. Robot

Now, I haven’t watched last night’s episode so no spoilers. For those who haven’t watched, USA’s Mr. Robot  ” follows Elliot Alderson (Rami Malek), a cyber-security engineer who became involved in the underground hacker group fsociety after being recruited by their mysterious leader (Christian Slater), who he later discovered to be the projection of his dead father. Following the events of fsociety’s five/nine hack on the multi-national company Evil Corp, Season 2 explored the consequences of the attack as well as the illusion of control.”

Yeah, pretty complex right? As my husband puts it a little too cerebral for his taste, which is probably why it resonates for me so personally. I am not a hacker and while 2017 has been incredibly surreal we are thankfully nowhere near the anarchic hellscape that is the United States post 5/9 (ironically the day I got married), at least for now. While one huge appreciation that  I have for the show is how topical and realistic it is, from its coverage of hacking and the vulnerabilities of cyberspace, it is the personal vulnerability of Elliot that has truly captured me.

This vulnerability is represented two-fold. First, is of course the dialogue and plot surrounding Elliot, which is as much about the fighting of his own inner demons as it is about the hack itself. Many anxiety sufferers equate their anxious and overwhelming thoughts as a malevolent presence in their heads and while thankfully mine aren’t telling me to take down “the man” in the form of my dead father I empathize with how different and thereby how lonely Elliot feels. The reason I have a tattoo of the mask from Mr. Robot plays into this as I started watching (binge-ing) the show when I was going through the most prolonged anxiety/depressive episode of my life. There is a gross scene where Elliot is forced by Mr. Robot to hallucinate and throw up the adderall that he has been using to drown out Mr. Robot. In defiance Elliot tells him “I will not be owned” and digs out the pills from his vomit and re-swallows them. As someone who has to constantly remind myself that not every anxious thought that I have is based on fact this line deeply resonated with me. So I got the tattoo to remind me that I am more than the mask that I wear and that it does not define me.

Now these scenes would not be so visceral if they were not acted out well with emotion and authenticity. So I am grateful that this role landed in Rami Malek’s lap and that he recognizes just how important it is. In his wonderful and well-deserved Emmy acceptance speech  (starts at 1:48) he told the audience that we are all Elliot and that is okay. And that permission, even if I didn’t know it right away, was what I needed to hear. I hope that I get to tell him this some day but in the meantime my Elliot on my desk reminds me to accept my inner Elliot flaws and all. And, let’s face it, we’ve all experienced Elliot’s inner monologue while at work.